Here are three jokes, I'm not sure they're funny though!!!

1) -What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?

-It's Christmas, Eve !

2) -What do monkeys sing at Christmas?

-Jungle bells, jungle bells.

3) Man: Do you have a pink car for my daughter?

Assistant: Sorry, Sir, we're all sold out. It seems everyone in the country has bought a pink car this week.

Man: You realise what this means?
Assistant: Yes, sir. We're slowly turning into a pink car-nation.

English is a strange language.

There is no egg in the eggplant,

no ham in the hamburger and neither pine or apple in the pineapple.

English muffins were not invented in England, French fries were not

invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted. But if we examine its paradoxes

we find that quicksand takes you down slowly, boxing rings are square and

a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing. If the plural of tooth

is teeth, shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth.

If the teacher taught, why didn't the preacher praught ?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what the heck does a humanitarian

eat!?

Why do people recite at a play, yet play at a recital? Park on

driveways and drive on parkways.

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where a house

can burn up as it burns down and in which you fill in a form by filling it

out.

And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the

creativity of the human race (which of course isn't a race at all).

That is why when the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights

are out they are invisible. And why it is that when I wind up my watch it

starts but when I wind up this story it ends?